Sunday, 3 January 2010

New Beginnings

It's been a while since I posted but I'm still here.
After the glimpse of my true nature and the subsequent return to separation I realise I had become intensely depressed. I was desperate to get back the feeling of being everything I perceived, to the extent of not caring about anything else.
My ego had kicked in again and proclaimed to all who would listen that I was now Enlightened, although I was behaving anything but that.
Then it was like the World said to me "Ok you think your enlightened, take this."
The woman I had partnered and loved for nearly eight years declared her love for another and left. Well I didn't really know what attachment was until that moment, deep, intense suffering followed which I could easily describe as Hell.
My instant reaction was to blame my search for Enlightenment as the catalyst for her leaving me and renounce all spiritual practice, but as the dust settled I realised I was not being true to myself, I knew deep within that this had to happen and in fact I had made it happen for my own spiritual growth.
To avoid the suffering I entered the moment, it was my refuge, in the moment the past and future vanished and with them the suffering.
To be in the moment is like riding a bicycle, the more you do it the easier and more natural it becomes, fears for the future vanish and are replaced by an excitement Now, life is more real without the abstraction of thought processes covering your actual reality and although it is not the state of seeing all things as yourself I had experienced previously, it didn't have to be because life and me were now inseparable!

Through suffering as humans we experience being, I had witnessed this first hand and a question arose in my mind, is this the evolution of mankind, from a consciousness run by mind to a consciousness detached for the most part from mind. A simple leap which engages the flow of life without fighting it, a tree still grows perfectly without using a mind.
What with the credit crunch, wars, disasters, global warming etc etc, is the world causing human suffering for one reason, to wake us from the dream of mind to real life, that of spirit?
The old way seems to be putting up a fight but the harder we're pushed by suffering the more of us awaken to the one true life, then suffering ends, this is not an instant end to suffering more of a gradual shift as we learn to stay focused Now.

Then I thought about 2012 and the end of the long count in the mayan calendar, I had heared it refered to as the end of time! Sounds frightening at first but when in the moment or Now there is no time only Now. Is this gradual shift taking place, gaining momentum over the next three years to a time where there is no time only Now, the jump of human consciousness, will it be like the 100 monkey syndrome ?

Nothing needs to change just our perspective, our level of consciousness but things will change until that is met I feel.

The best thing is that none of this will even concern you when your focused in the moment so save yourself some suffering and loose some thought processes but if you need suffering that's what you'll probably get.

Bless you all